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Jay London
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
Jay London
Funny Quotes - Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby
Billy Graham
Men are only as loyal as their options.
Billy Graham
Johnny Vegas
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
Johnny Vegas
Bill Cosby
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
Bill Cosby
Funny Quotes - Pierre-Joseph Proudhon
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
Pierre-Joseph Proudhon
Ronald Wilson Reagan
One picture is worth 1,000 denials.
Ronald Wilson Reagan
Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
Robert Benchley
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley
Funny Quotes - Michael Crichton
I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.
Michael Crichton
Woody Allen
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
Bertrand Russell
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell
Franklin P. Jones
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
Franklin P. Jones
Funny Quotes - Billie Holiday
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Billie Holiday
Douglas Horton
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Horton
Steve Maraboli
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Steve Maraboli
Mark Russell
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Mark Russell
Funny Quotes - Site2Quote
I have decided to leave my past behind, so if I owe you money, I'm Sorry, but I've moved on.
Site2Quote
Harold Wilson
I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.
Harold Wilson
Don Marquis
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
Don Marquis



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